someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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