This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
