Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize