i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Randomize
