You're so nebulous sometimes
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
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I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
pray to the hookup gods
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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