A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
