All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
