I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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