dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I puked a lego.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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