I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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