That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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