There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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