well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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