I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
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He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
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Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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