I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
