Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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