theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize