im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
