Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
