A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
