The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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