the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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