i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
