Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
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I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
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I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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