whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
