I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
