You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
