It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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