i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
