like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Randomize
