As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
