I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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