She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
