you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
