She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
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I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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