I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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