never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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