my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
There's even glitter on my cock...
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