I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
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aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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