I love black thongs
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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