He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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