I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
