why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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