Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
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I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
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At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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