his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
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All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize