I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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