TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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