I think i peed on brittanys purse
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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