It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize