I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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