As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
