I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize