Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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