I seem to have left my pride at pride
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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