how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
