Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
