I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize