Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
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a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
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ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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