also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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