Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
