What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
