What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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